Introduction
We are living in society where talking on many issue is considered as taboo. There are many topics on which we can not talk with our elders or with our superiors because talking with them on such issues will get us in trouble or sometimes we won’t be able to talk to them because we don’t have that much courage. We are facing many serious issues like sexual harrasement, racisam, harrasement at workplace and many others. These issues are not being reported and not debated openly because we face very difficulties on talking on these issues plus if we talk on these issues with anyone, no one supports the victim’s stance and advise him/her to remain quite. These issues are especially encountered by the females who have to work in public or private offices and face sexual harrasement. Sometimes we feel difficult to talk on serious issues with our parents like discussing about the future education or discussing about the job plans. We are living in a society where all the power is in the hands on the head of the family i.e., father or mother. So we can’t do what we want but we have to do what they think better for us.
Soetimes we face difficulties to talk on some topics/issue to which we call the difficutlt conversations. For example, firing your subordinate who is very close to you, saying goodbye to your close relationships because you are ending your relation with them, saying no to the person who really deserve yor help (Stone, Heen, & Patton, 2010). Talking on the religious issues, political issues, sexuality or confronting someone’s hurtful behavior. Difficult converstaions are not only limited to the topics mentioned above but they can occur anytime when your ego or self-esteem is being hurt.
Discussion
In our life, there is no such thing called diplomacy. We have to confront the truth or we have to avoid it. While confronting a dilemma, we look around and think that whether we have to keep it to ourselves or should we talk with others on this issue. Here I would discuss few of my real lifestories where I encourtered difficulties to start a conversation and faced problems while talking on those particular topics.
Life story
Always tell the truth
Sometimes we always talk about the fact that I am right and you are wrong. The main thing is what I am right about? Speaking the truth sometime got ou in trouble while sometimes you get rewarded on the fact that you have spoken.
A rule that I always follow in my life is”always tell the truth”. Its true that sometimes telling the truth might backfire. In my life, most of the time telling the trut backfired but I didn’t changed my mind and kept walking on the right track. For example, once I was travelling with my elder brother who was driving the car and I was sitting beside him along with my two cousins. We got involved in a severe accident which happened due to the mistake of my brother and I was well aware of that. But when we were rescued my brother and two of my cousins give blame to another person who was driving the car near by and didn’t accepted the blame. I talk with my brother and told him to speak the truth but he didn’t accepted what I was saying. I talked with everyone and told them the truth no one believed me. As the ratio was 3 to 1. So my stance and the truth went into the vein and everyone believed what they told.
The stance of my brother and cousins took before my was, its not about what is true but it is all about what is important. According to them, speaking the truth infront of everyone would definitely backfire and no one will ever give them permission to drive the car. Whereas if they tell an fabricated story it would be beneficial for them and no one will ever blame them for that accident.
Another argument is made on “ What happened”. Conversations always take place between two parties and it always involve the intentions of both. Intentions or feelings are invisible and they can always be judged by the behavior and actions of the person. In the above written lifestory, my intentions were not to hurt the feeling of my brother or any other fmily member but I wanted to speak the truth. I wanted to keep myself on track and to follow the rules that I have made for my life. But they didn’t wanted to tell anyone about the reality because that would restrict them from many actions in the future.
Most of the people always place truth as their highest ranked core value. Although they themselves did not always speak the truth. Being truthful to yourself is something else and being truthful to others is something different. You can be true to yourself but most of the time you lie with others and if the other person knows that you are lying then how can you properly perform your duties in that relationship. At this stage your relationship ends because no one wants to be with the person who is known liar. If a person doesnot trut you then how he/she wants to live with you? If you place truth as one of the highest core value in your life then you have to speak the truth at any cost without knowing or worrying about the concequences.
Focus on your goal
The key factor to be successful in your life is, always remain calm and be focused to the goal you want to achieve. If you want to achieve your goal, you must always be true to yourself.
I was born in a middle class family where there was only head to earn to feed the all. It was very difficult for my father to provide proper education the all of his 4 childern. Being the eldest one, there were a lot of responsibilities on me. I always wanted to get admission in a well known university for which I had to get good grades in my college. On contrary, I also had to arrange the expenses for my university fee if I secure good grades in the college and get admission in the university. My goal was very clear but there was inavailability of resources which was a very big hurdle in achieving my goal. So I said to myself that I have to arrange all the expenses for my university fee by myself as my father cannot bear these expanses. So I started working at a departmental store in my free timimgs to earn some many plus I started to give home tutions which helped me a lot to arrange the finances to pay my university fee.
Doing all this was not easy to me as no one was supporting me amnd I had to do all of this by my own. Whenever I talked with someone on this matter, they always discouraged me and told me that don’t for further studies and start a small job to earn something for your family. What whould you do by studying further? But I stayed focused on my goal and kept trying to arrange the finances for my study. Thers is a saying that noting can change GOD’s will. It was written that that will further pursue my studies and I was successful in arranging all the finances for my study.
To stay focused on your goal you have to remove all the distractions and surround yourself with the company of people that have positive thinking about all the aspects of the life. You have to write down your goals thatyou want to achieve and look at them every day so that you can remember what you want to do. Looking at your written goals will help you boosting your energy and you will work hard to achieve your goal. Staying focused and working hard is the key to achieve your goal.For this you have to get rid of your vices i.e., you have to get rid from of all the things that are restricting you from working hard. You have to get rid from all the thing that are diverting your attention from working hard and from staying focused to your goal.
There are very few people who come to help you hen you are in difficult times, so you have to motivate yourself. Like, if your goal is to become a successful entrepreneur, you have to read the life stories of the successful entrepreneurs, their struggle. Do proper research on the field or industry in which you want to enter. Read the motivational stories of all the big guns in the relative field to get youself motivated.
Conclusions
Sometimes we have to make some hard choices and have to make some hard decisions which in normal routine is very difficult for us. But we have to take difficult situations as normal part of life. As we cannot favor everyone at every time so we cannot make our self as diplomat. Make the tough decisions. Learn from your experience and become the architect of your own life.
References
Stone, D., Heen, S., & Patton, B. (2010). Difficult conversations: How to discuss what matters most. New York: Penguin Books.
