Every night when I go to my bed, I wish not to wake up in the morning. I pray to God to end the pain in my body. I don’t want to wake up or go to school, and I feel dirty all the time. When my mommy wakes me up in the morning, I want to cry and hug her tightly because I cant go through all this pain again. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t tolerate the pain in my body after he is done with me. I slowly moved out of the bed to get ready and half-heartedly went to my school. All day I waited for my school to end. I want this to be over. I want him to do whatever he does to me every day and go to my home so that I can lay in bed and rest.
School is over now. My school bus dropped every student, and I am the last one. The bus takes a turn and moves into a quiet street. The bus stops, and the driver looks at me hungrily. I sit there like a dead person, not moving or thinking about anything. I am still as scared of him as I was when he touched me the first time. I am now alone with him, I want to cry but I can’t because I am scared. There is no use of resisting as I have tried it before. I have also tried many times to tell all this to my mother, but she is always busy doing her office work and taking care of my baby brother. I don’t know what to do or who to tell. It is very hard for me trust anyone now. My body hurts all the time. I cannot concentrate on my studies, I don’t feel like playing or do any other activity. I want this over but I am helpless.