What a child learns in his live or during development stages can be significantly affected by the initial years of a child life are considered vital. The role of parents and their impact on the development of the child is studied by the developmental psychologists. The behavior of the parents and its effect on the behavior of the child is linked to the cause and effect case. While studying its cause and effect is not an easy task. This fact can be understood as a thing that even two children who are living in the same home and similar environment but their personality differs from one another to a large extent. Parenting is a set of different strategies which parents use in raising their kids (Quarles, 2012). The responsibilities of parents start right after the birth of the child and play an important role in the whole life of the child. Many parents design their set of strategies to raise their child depending on many factors like the temperament of the child, and the parenting will be greatly affected by it, the way other families use for their parents and the culture they live in. Parenting is not a science, therefore, does not include hard and fast rules. Parenting strategies grow with time during the developing stages of the children. The emotional, social and intellectual development of a child is greatly affected by the parenting quality.
Authoritative parenting is a kind defined by demands and responsive factors. A parent who is authoritative expects high from their child, care and resources are also provided by the parents for their success (Navuluri, 2017). Such parents provide love to children and also give them importance along with other facilities. It is considered as one of the most efficient styles of parenting. Researchers showed that authoritative parents’ kids have strong self-esteem and happy as compared to other children.
A Brief History of Authoritative Parenting
Diana Baumrind who is a developmental psychologist, in the 1960s gave three kinds of styles of parenting conducted research on pre-school children. Among these styles, Baumrind called one style as authoritative one. Authoritative style is also known as democratic styles and deals with the child-centric where parents expect a lot from their kids. Dr. Baumrind stated: “Independent self-will and controlled support is also given by authoritative parents. Hence, mother deals with a child in a controlled way at certain elements of parent and child relation but restrict child in certain things.” (Navuluri, 2017).
Characteristics of Authoritative Parenting
- Demanding and Responsive:
Certain demands and expectations are set by the authoritative parents to fulfill. Such parents communicate their child about their opinion and demands. Parents also keep an eye on children that they are working on achieving goals (Navuluri, 2017). The demands put forward by the parents are achievable as children can achieve those goals. Parents are strict while dealing with the kid regarding achieving a goal and also try to solve every issue that comes forward. There is support from the parents for eliminating those barriers.
- Verbal Give and Take:
Communication is highly encouraged by parents. There are certain rules set by the parents and create a middle case in between; a child will be given information about which needs have to be fulfilled for doing those things in a specific way. Children instead of questioning rules, follow them. Parents also listen to children opinions, which encourage them to talk about certain things that you unlike. The open talk will prevent privacy among the family members.
- Involved and Understanding:
Authoritative style of parenting deals with growth and progress of a child. Parents’ support is also in all activities including studies. Strengths and weaknesses are also assessed by parents along with the positive and negative points and opportunities available (Dewar, 2013). Limitations are also considered by parents, and it gives parents an idea that where they need to stop in the process of expecting. Parents are aware that when to communicate with their children.
- Criticism and Praise:
The criticism is also included in the process of authoritative parenting while dealing with the behavior of children. Negligence of parents in any certain activity is also pointed out by parents (Dewar, 2013). Parents are very much careful about the thing that whether their parents are behave in the right way or when do not take an interest in anything.
- Give Freedom but Monitor:
Authoritative parents have faith in their child. Parents are of the view that freedom must be given to the children and they must be independent for making decisions. Parents are also informed of the case that there must be some limitations along with freedom (Dewar, 2013). Therefore, parents grant certain freedom to the children and also keep an eye on their actions. Well, freedom is also related to the age and situation.
- Love and Limits:
Love for their children is also expressed by authoritative parents. Confidence is promoted in children, especially when the child is in his teenage. There are also certain limitations set by the parents that cannot be broken (Cherry, 2017). Love will act as a binding force among parents and children, and restrictions will also be strictly followed as they forbid their kids to do not walk on the wrong path. Parents do not accept such actions of their kids. Parents will care that they may not hurt their parents and decrease their love.
- Spend Time:
Quality time is spent by those parents who behave according to authentic style. Parents make sure that they take time out of their busy routines for the children. This time spending strengthens the bond between kids and parents (Navuluri, 2017).
Authoritative Parenting Skills:
There are both flexible and strict modes of authoritative parenting. There are many areas where parents need to be lenient while for other there must be strict rules. Most of the things include flexibility of parents with their kids. High level of love is also showered by the parents along with keeping strict rules.
Children of authoritative parents can be (Navuluri, 2017):
- Freely ask questions that raise in their mind by looking at routine things
- Aware how they should behave in any certain situation
- For all their actions, they are responsible themselves
Impact Authoritative Parental Control on Child Behavior
Effects deals with happenings that occur while bringing up kids. As authoritative parents are close with their children, therefore they learn. Following are some of the obvious consequences that can be observed easily in the children brought up by authoritative parents (Dewar, 2013):
- Such children are self-independent in completion of their goals
- Such kids are comfortable in any environment
- Such kids are happy and active
- They become mature in early age as compared to others
- These kids are socially active
- Such kids are not much conscious about gender stereotypes
- These kids are creative as their parents encourage them
- These kids learn quickly and in a better way
- They can easily negotiate
Advantages of Authoritative Parenting
There are many benefits of authoritative parents not only for kids but parents as well. Following are some of the advantages.
- Friendly situation at home
Disagreeable circumstances can be avoided by parents along with children, as the rules and regulations are mentioned. Children are not harsh with their parents. Children and parents talk about every kind of issues rather than fighting. When there is happy environment at home then it will result in the children development for making their kids a better individual.
A certain balance is held in between discipline and love. There is the continuous attention of parents on their children to avoid spoiling of their kids. When the balance is eliminated, parents try to build it again.
- Encourage to perform:
Parents motivate their kids to get a good grade by working hard. They also support their kids in any bad situation. Parents do not measure the hard work of kid by his results but by his sincerity to succeed (Dewar, 2013).
- Fill with aims and result-oriented children:
Children become self-assured while developing. They understand when to say no and in such a manner that it will not hurt others as their parents always do so. They try to solve the issue with confidence.
- Fewer to no addiction:
There are fewer chances that the children who grow under authoritative parents will become addicted to drinking, smoking and other such drugs as there is an eye of parents constantly. Parents try to know their kids and avoid their involvement in corrupt activities. Changes in kids can be easily observed by the parents.
Drawbacks of Authoritative Parenting:
In authoritative parenting, parents need to make sure that situation is under control. Following are some of the disadvantages of authoritative parenting.
- Heavily depend on rules: Such families depend on rules for everything. They are not able to deal with the situation without any rule.
- Decrease self-confidence: Such parenting style can result in low self-esteem of kids as parents sometimes demand too much (Cherry, 2017).
- Motivates kids to become rebel: Giving so much importance to children and asking for their opinion on every issue lead to the feeling that they are vital and everyone must listen to them. This situation can lead to over-confidence in the children that can motivate kids to become a rebel (Cherry, 2017).
- More burden on parents: There can be an extra responsibility on the parents as there is a code of action for every situation. Parents listen to their kids, and these discussions can take more time.
- Not suitable for the stubborn child: This style is right when the kids obey their child. In certain cases, the child is rude due to many external factors including peer groups and life experiences (Cherry, 2017). A friendly environment is required at home for the better development of kids. A caring father, mother, and siblings make the child emotionally strong.
Permissive Parenting Style
Permissive parenting is another type of parental style that is consists of low demands with increased responsiveness. The parents adopting this style are found to love but provide few guidelines and work with few rules. Children are not expected to behave maturely, and parents try to act like their friend rather than acting like a parent. They try to minimize the gap in between parents and kids. Parents avoid acting like helicopter parents. Rather than criticizing every action of their child, permissive parents very lenient and do not make or impose any rules on their kids. The slogan of such parents is that children will always be children. No matter such parents are caring and affectionate, but they are very strict when it comes to disciple matters of the child. As there are many principles, demands of parents, as well as their expectations, permissive parents along with their kids, make an effort to promote dignity and self-discipline.
Permissive parents refer to easy-going parents that do not put forward many demands in front of their kids. Parents that fall in this category aren’t worried about the discipline matters of their child as they do not have many hopes and demands of self-discipline from their kid. Baumrind is the view “that permissive parents are more open to new ideas rather than demanding. This parenting style is not worried about the surrounding and is gentle. They do not need maturity from their child, allow their kids to have self-control and try to prevent different situation” (Dewar, 2014). Such parents behave in a friendly manner with their kids. Such parents are like a friend for their child rather than punishing figure. Communication among parents and children is very high. Kids who are brought up by loving parents have more confidence in themselves, socially active and low level of stress. These elements lead to an optimistic and positive attitude of children. However, it can also affect negatively which includes harming and damaging the emotional well-being of children. His maturity level in the emotional area is low.
Essential Lookout to Permissive Parenting
According to the research with the early age children, a popular psychologist, Diana Baumrind introduced three main parenting styles. Later in the years, fourth parenting style has been added to view it from a different perspective with the continuous effort of researchers. Baumrind introduced a major parenting style which was permissive parenting. Permissive parenting can be described as when parents have few expectations or demands over their children (Dewar, 2014). They do not have many expectations from the children which lead to low discipline and maturity within the child.
Characteristics of the Permissive Parenting Style
This parenting style is known to be less demanding and more responsive as Baumrind mentioned in her research. These kinds of parents do not look for mature behavior from their children and also prefer not to confront their child. They are lenient in behavior and have few rules/no rules implied for their children in their early age for their better development. Here are some of the main characteristics which can reflect Permissive Parenting Style (Cherry, 2017):
- Inconsistent behavior towards the child
- No rules/few rules for behavior standards.
- Loving to their kids
- Less parent, more friend
- No schedule set for the kid
- Emphasis on freedom rather than being responsible.
- Usage of materials to get the best behavior out of the kid
- Leave the decision making of the kids in such early age
- Do not enforce any bad consequences.
The Effects of Permissive Parenting
It is a duty of each parent to groom the kids and them a responsible citizen not just for themselves but the society as well. There can be negative effects of permissive parenting which can be a path towards bad outcomes in the later stages of life. Children who face permissive parenting tend to be less social, lack discipline, demanding, bossy, obsessive, and insecure. They mostly spend time with themselves because of no proper guidance. They like to stay isolated because they are not able to find any way out with parents being present in their life.
Research has proven that kids which are raised under permissive parenting cannot make proper decisions and lack problem-solving skills. They do not have many achievements in their life because nothing has been expected out of them since the beginning. They do not know how to strive for something and how it feels to achieve a target (Cherry, 2017). Their decisions tend to change within split seconds because of the confusion in their brain. They are more aggressive than others and rarely consider understanding emotionally.
Kids who are raised under permissive parenting tend to have a hard time when they are hit with stress or any emotional situation where they are not aware of how to face it/get over it. Those kids are not able to manage time and have a habit of procrastination (Dewar, 2014). They do not realize the limits and rules around them which can indulge them in playing uncountable games, watching too many movies, sleeping too much and eating a lot too. It can direct towards unhealthy lifestyle which would be difficult to fix.
Research studies concluded that kids under the permissive parenting style tend to consume alcohol at the earlier age. It is also linked to other risky drugs which can harm the body heavily. Kids do not know where they head to when they are under the wrong supervision style. It is a responsibility of the parents to make sure they are on the right track to help their kid become a better human being and grow maturely and with discipline in life. The future research may have other aspects to this style, but so far, it tends to have a negative impact and outcome at the same time.
How to deal with Permissive Parenting?
If in permissive parenting style you try to make and impose rules, then work to develop authoritative parents’ habits. It is not an easy job because you will have to be strict, impose rules and try to avoid being emotional when your child is upset after your strict behavior.
Few strategies you need to consider:
Make some house rules regarding basic things. These rules will be about how your child needs to behave in any given situation, and children must be aware of parents’ expectations.
- Mention punishment in case of rules breaking. Rules are useless until there is any penalty attached to them in case any rule is not followed (Niaraki and Rahimi, 2013). Decreasing the number of facilities and time limits of certain activities are some of the circumstances that kids will have to face after breaking any rule.
- Parents must follow those rules too. No matter for permissive parents it is not easy but necessary. Try to act strictly and in a consistent manner but also be loving and caring. Help and tell your children about why you made and imposed such kind of rules are an important thing. It is done by explaining to them and getting their feedback, but also try to understand the circumstances (Dewar, 2014).
- For good behavior, give incentives and reward. Notice when your children are behaving nicely and give them some extra rewards as a treat for acting well in any situation. These rewards will motivate your child to behave nicely.
There can be a whole list of problems that can be linked with Permissive parenting style. Therefore it is necessary to use authoritative parenting style consciously when you see permissiveness in your parenting styles. If you try to adopt permissive parenting style, then keep in mind all the ways with which you can assist your children in understanding them about your hopes and rules and stay constant in imposing those rules at your place (Niaraki and Rahimi, 2013). When you provide your child with support and structure in a balanced manner, there is a high possibility of acquiring all those skills which are necessary for success in their lives.
The phycology of your child is greatly affected by all of the mentioned styles of parenting. When Baumrind studied about hundred preschool students, she got a result that parenting has great effects on the child’s development. On the other hand, authentic style of parenting resulted in socially active and satisfied children. While the Permissive style of parenting resulted in kids facing some problems regarding power issues and had weak progress regarding studies.
The overall structure of various parenting styles suggests authoritative parenting style is more effective and has had positive and beneficial effects on the development of the child in contrast to other three styles of parenting (Pressley & McCormick, 2007). However, here a query emerges, which factor makes the authoritative style of parenting as best compared to other styles? There are various reasons including love and welcoming behavior of the parents with their kids that created the friendly environment at your place. Therefore, with such a friendly and positive environment at home, brought up of the child is better by developing the positive and optimistic approach to life. Children who develop under authoritative parenting styles are mostly self-discipline, self-confident and have optimistic approach about everything. Such kids have their opinion; communicate with their peer groups in the efficient and effective way. Such kids can deal with conflicting situations in a better way. They develop all the skills which are necessary due to best style of parenting adopted by their parents.
Cherry, K. (2017). What Is Authoritative Parenting? Retrieved from https://www.verywell.com/what-is-authoritative-parenting-2794956
Cherry, K. (2017). What Is Permissive Parenting? Retrieved from https://www.verywell.com/what-is-permissive-parenting-2794957
Dewar, G. (2013). The authoritative parenting style: Warmth, rationality, and high standards. Retrieved from http://www.parentingscience.com/authoritative-parenting-style.html
Dewar, G. (2014). Permissive parenting: An evidence-based guide. Retrieved from http://www.parentingscience.com/permissive-parenting.html
Navuluri, B. (2017). Authoritative Parenting Style – Characteristics And Effects. Retrieved from http://www.momjunction.com/articles/what-is-authoritative-parenting_00376548/#gref
Niaraki, F. R., & Rahimi, H. (2013). The impact of authoritative, permissive and authoritarian behavior of parents on self-concept, psychological health and life quality. European Online Journal of Natural and Social Sciences, 2(1), 78-85.
Quarles, V. (2012). A study of parenting authority styles and self-esteem: Implications for families